I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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