My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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