Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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