i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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