Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
