Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
