I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
