you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
