He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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