dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
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You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
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just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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