i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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