My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
