i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
My Higher Power is John Stamos
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
