i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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