how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
My pussy is not your playground.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
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She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
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I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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