I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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