he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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