He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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