we're blogging at a bar
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
