Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
