she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
They took my balls.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
