well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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