I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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