i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
