he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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