You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
