Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
