well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
