im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
