Sry I called you an 8
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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