I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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