Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
it was like eating out sand paper
Acid is not a monday night drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to coat check the pizza.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize