why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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