I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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