I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
ugly people sure do ruin things
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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