Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
