K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
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we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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