Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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