Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
