fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize