Do you still have your period?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
