He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize