i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
