oh god the rape fog is back!
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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