he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
NoShamevember. You game?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
did i just pee glitter
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
