Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
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