A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hospital has no fireball
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize