where am i from again
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
