i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
