I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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