I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
