Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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