connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
