How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
