I didn't shave. On purpose
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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