If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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